The bitch and moan-ologues has returned

Hello Old Friends,

I just wanted to take the time to announce my return to WordPress. Moving into my senior year at SCAD, I have decided to part ways with District and move the show back to my original blog.

This little site started as just an assignment for my Writing and New Media class, but as time has gone on I have decided that it was in my best interest to continue to blog for the sake of my sanity and for your reading pleasure.

I am sorry for my extended absence. I hope some of you did follow me over to District and enjoyed the columns I wrote for them. I cannot say enough good things about their site and the amazing staff that puts it together. Please continue to support them! It would mean the world to me.

But down to business. It is my goal to bring you bi-weekly adventures from my awkward little world. I will aim for Mondays and Thursdays. Please forgive me if it takes a bit of time to get in the swing of things or if I stray when midterms come around.

I am grateful for everyone who has read this blog and those who will continue to read it. I will be making a greater effort to interact with my readers, so please like and comment away! I would love to hear from you! Thank you once again. The first new post should be up tomorrow.

Many thanks and a lot of love,

Chase S. Wilkinson

The bitch and moan-ologues has Moved

Hello there (hopefully) loyal followers. I am so sorry for my very long delay. I have been hard at work as Copy Editor of District, my student newspaper at SCAD. But the good news is that I have been given the opportunity to make this blog a humor column on District’s website as part of Sunday Funday. So, starting today you can find new adventures and funny tales every Sunday at scaddistrict.com.

I hope everyone follows this blog over to its new home and gets to check out some of the other fantastic work being produced by my peers. I am so sorry for the delay and I hope that everyone can forgive me. It has meant so much to be able to entertain you all and I hope to be able to continue that. Click this link to check out my newest story.

Thank you so much for reading my silly stories,

Chase S. Wilkinson

An Ode to Mike Birbiglia

When I set out to write this blog I was deeply inspired by my favorite comedian Mike Birbiglia, the king of the awkward man.

Birbiglia

Ladies and gentlemen…my hero.

There isn’t anything particularly offensive or rude about Birbiglia’s comedy, just a fun series of awkward stories. And if you haven’t noticed, I kinda gravitate to that sort of humor.

I remember listening to him a lot during the summer before my freshman year of high school. I was working detail at Westside Lexus and my coworkers would always listen to the radio while we cleaned the cars, except they always would play spanish radio stations. Feeling left out, I asked my boss if he wouldn’t mind letting me listen to my iPod while I worked. Fortunately he agreed, so I was able to enjoy scrubbing car tires a little easier.

I kept listening to Birbiglia’s album My Secret Public Journal. In it he chronicles his misadventures at charity golfing outingsawkward computer viruses, and even worse run-ins with professional baseball players.

In the end he recounts a conversation with his therapist about what to do with all of these stories that cause him so much anxiety when she gave him the idea to create his Secret Public Journal. Basically it was a blog where he would write all of his embarrassing stories and presents them to the world to show himself that these horrifying anxieties that he faces can’t really hurt him. These stories would fuel his comedy, a book, and even a movie. And then inspire this blog. So I think it worked out for him.

So I just wanted to take the time to give my hero his due. Below is the trailer to his film Sleepwalk with Me:

 

 

The S Stands for S

Whenever I write I like to credit my name as Chase S. Wilkinson. It sounds nice. I always liked writers who published with their middle initial in their names. It made them seem dignified, as if what they had to say warranted more merit. When I began playing with the idea of seeing my name in print, I tried out different ways of presenting my name. Chase Wilkinson just never had that punch. I needed something more. I needed to try things the Grant way. I needed the “S.”

Ulysses-S-Grant-9318285-1-402

Thank you, Ulysses.

I played around with it for a while, but it always felt so pompous to me. It never felt like it was really my name. That was until I went to get my driver’s license.

My middle name is Stephen. It’s just like my father’s middle name, which is just like his father’s first name. That is unless you ask the state of Texas, but then they’ll just blame Cleveland, Ohio. Because on my birth certificate, printed in Cleveland, OH where I was born, has a typo. According to them my middle name is Steohen.

I saw this a few years before getting my license and thought nothing of it. I mean, my name is right on my social security card. No harm, no foul.

Except the lady at the DMV didn’t think so. According to her, my middle name was Steohen and the only way to put any other name on my driver’s license was to legally change my name. Well that seemed like a hassle, so I asked her, “What other options do I have?”

“Well you can just have your first and last name or you can put your middle initial,” she growled.

So I went with the initial. And now I sign everything Chase S. Wilkinson. It just seems right, now.

 

Well I Thought It Was Funny

I am a magnet for awkward situations. They seek me out and they relish in my company. This is unfortunate because I put in a great deal of effort to avoid said situations to such an extent that I avoid most situations all together.  But somehow embarrassing things find me. So what do you do when you can’t avoid it? You laugh. A smirk, a chuckle, or a true gut-busting guffaw. You laugh because somehow the laughter makes things acceptable. As if the judgmental stares and curious whispers suddenly aren’t aimed in your direction. It’s the same as a child thinking a tiny 4 watt bulb can keep the monsters away. They’re monsters; they’ll eat you in the bright light of day if they truly wanted to. But there is something to be said in the power of laughter. To turn the joke on its head. To make your gavel-ready peers laugh with you instead of at you puts the authority back in your hands. This is my attempt to seize that authority. I am a quiet and often painfully shy guy who embarrasses easily. Full of self-deprecation and neuroses. And these are my stories for the viewing pleasure of my friends and classmates. I hope you laugh because I do all the time.